Wednesday, June 30, 2010

This disturbs me

"I poo... in blue!"



Maybe I'm a prude. But if your kid is old enough to wear a diaper that looks like pants, then maybe he's old enough to wear... oh, I don't know... pants?

Gainesville Sports Examiner

Hey all, great news - I was recently named the Gainesville-area Sports Examiner on Examiner.com! I already have a few articles up, so check it out:

http://www.examiner.com/x-53316-Gainesville-Sports-Examiner

My page is dedicated to telling the stories of Gainesville area sports at all levels, from youth leagues to senior events and everything in between. There is so much to be proud of in our community – the development of a new league or camp, a unique person in Gator/Saints sports, a charitable endeavor by a local team, or a notable achievement by one of our outstanding area athletes. Most of you know that I'm a pretty big sports enthusiast, so I'm really excited to provide an all-encompassing platform to share area news.

If you have a story that you would like to see on the Gainesville Sports Examiner, please feel free to email me at kaplan_janice@yahoo.com to tell me about it. Thanks!

Friday, June 4, 2010

Jump-SLAP!

Are boys genetically programmed to jump up and slap anything they think is hanging within three feet of their heads?

This is my son's latest thing. Tree branch dangling above? Jump-SLAP. Doorway overhang? Jump-SLAP. Netting of a basketball hoop ten feet off the ground and nowhere near within his reach unless he's Kobe Bryant? Jump-slap-WHIFF.

Granted, I'd rather have him be like this than a kid who can't be bothered to reach for his drink because he'd have to move from his spot on the couch. But it's starting to drive me nuts.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Individuality, Interrupted

When I was a kid I often wore hand-me-down clothing from my older sister. My mom stayed at home and was notoriously frugal to make that work, so it was pretty much out of necessity. I never really minded this, as mom also took great care of our clothes so they didn't have holes in them and stains were treated pretty quickly.

Among the gems of my time-warp wardrobe was a pair of light green denim bell-bottom jeans. These were probably cute when my sister wore them in the mid-70s, but by 1980 they weren't exactly in demand. Still, I kind of liked the color and I didn't realize this fashion faux pas when I left the house that morning.

So you can imagine my surprise when I got a few funny looks here and there, and even a sarcastic, "HA... nice pants!" from a couple of girls a grade older than me. When I said a polite "Thank you" to them (I mistakenly took the taunt as a compliment), they laughed even harder. I was shocked, and I spent the rest of the day futilely trying to hide my pants. By the end of the day I was completely disheartened and secretly cursing my mom for making me wear them instead of just buying me a new pair of normal jeans.

After reading my story, you might think that I would be happy that the Alachua County School Board voted by a 3-2 margin to adopt a new uniform policy last night, effective at the start of the next school year. According to board member Barbara Sharpe, such a policy will "level the playing field" - so kids don't classify each other by the clothes they wear, or they won't be preoccupied by styles and brand names.

You might think again.

You see, I'm tired of over-protecting our kids' feelings. I'm all for being positive with them and encouraging good karma and sportsmanship, but when do we start preparing them for life? Instead of giving them tools to help them grow up and be confident with their looks and abilities, we're shielding them from any possible sadness or disappointment. We give every kid in the soccer league a trophy, even though some kids just aren't good athletes. We push every kid to read well beyond what they truly need to succeed, despite the fact that some kids just don't like it or aren't good at it. And now we'll make every kid look like a clerk at Blockbuster Video until they graduate from high school, just so they don't get singled out or preoccupied with D&G labels.

I learned something very important because of those hippie-dippy pants - how to stick up for myself. I wasn't getting a new pair of pants that day; we just couldn't swing it at the time, and that was the reality of the situation. And I had to admit, I did kind of like them. They were different (kind of like me, the dork that I was), and I thought the color was cool. Plus I didn't really have a choice.

So I sucked it up and eventually wore them again. And when I got a funny stare from someone I just ignored it. Or I looked them straight in the eye and smiled back at them. That usually shocked those kids; they expected an embarrassed slink-away or perhaps even tears. But they didn't get what they want, and then they left me alone. And that made me happier and more confident than any uniform could have done.

Today I wear what I want, and with confidence. I have learned what looks good AND makes me comfortable, and I wear clothing that shows who I truly am. That doesn't happen when you're shoehorned into a uniform. I also learned to hold no grudges - in fact, one of the people who commented on my pants way back when is now a Facebook friend of mine.

There are several reasons why I don't agree with uniforms. First, I haven't seen where it's such a huge disruptive problem. In fact, there is already a dress code in place and it seems to work just fine. Instead of policing spaghetti strap tops or shirt sayings as they do now, they'll just be making sure clothing is the right color and we have it neatly presented. No time saved there. Second, the school board voted for this despite an avalanche of mail from parents against the proposal, basing their vote instead on the "people they've talked to" (in other words, their friends). Third, now we have to buy TWO sets of clothing - uniforms for school, plus play/weekend clothes. Not sure how the school board thinks that this will be cheaper for the parents.

But my biggest reason is that I think we're shortchanging our kids in the long run. In life we don't get trophies merely for participating, we don't fit into academic molds of who we're supposed to be, and we don't have a dress code. Sooner or later, we have to learn how to suck it up and deal with who we are. We have to stick up for ourselves. We have to get our feelings hurt and deal with our shortcomings and experience disappointment from time to time.

As a parent, I see how hard that is to let it happen to our kids. But we have to let it happen, so we can teach them how to handle it. The uniform policy is a lazy way out, in my opinion - instead of teaching them coping skills and letting them be creative, we're washing our hands of it so we don't have to deal with it.

Barbara Sharpe, Wes Eubank and Ginger Childs, I hope you've enjoyed your tenure on the school board. And I'll be happy to help you update your resumes when you're voted out in November. For a fee, of course.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

DWTS - "That's not the bed we rehearsed on!"

So it's really here, huh? The final three couples are duking it out for the championship, and I have to say we truly did wind up with the three best couples from the entire season. Some contestants went way too early, some outstayed their welcome. But over the course of the show these are the three who were definitely the best.

Costume Parade! Maks loves long samba skirts, doesn't he? Because once again Erin has long feathery things snaking down her legs. Then again, she's a tall girl so the longer skirts don't dwarf her so I think it's actually a neat call. Anna is wearing a classier version of Brooke's piano keyboard dress from several weeks back. And Nicole is wearing lingerie. No, seriously. I worked at Victoria's Secret back in college and I swear I saw that. In the whore section.

First we have Erin and Maks doing the samba. Ooooh, I forgot about when the judges visit each contestant to give pointers. I love this part. So we see Bruno sashay into Erin's rehearsal to help her with the samba. He gives her some great pointers about one move, and as she executes he fills his sassy quota by screaming, "Look at that ass! Look at that ass!" to encourage her. So, the samba... Erin's playing the "I'm most improved" angle and it's fitting because she really has gotten over much of her gawkiness. She's still not as graceful as her body type should allow, but they're both having a lot of fun and her legwork is awesome. With the exception of one part where I guess she's supposed to shimmy but looks more like she's about to lay an egg, I loved this dance. They get 10s from Carrie Ann and Len, but when Bruno follows with a 9 you can tell they're disappointed. Not in a "we were robbed" kind of way - more like a "oh man, so close to a perfect score!" way, which is much preferred. The highlight of this whole segment, though, is how the cameraman completely omits Brooke from the shot as she goes through her "vote now" spiel. All we see is Erin goofing around and Max stripping. Awesome.

Next up are Evan and Anna with the Viennese waltz. Okay, this is interesting because Len comes in and tells him how to connect with his partner - instead of doing a step and then another, treat the interval between steps as a "moment" with her. Great advice - but then they do their waltz to Piano Man. A song about a bunch of people getting drunk in a bar. Really, what moment can you have with this? The big connection with this song is when you're with a bunch of people late in the evening and you're too soused to dance so you just sway back and forth and hoist your Solo cup and sing the lyrics. Or you're at a Billy Joel concert and he does his thing where he stops playing in the last chorus and just listens to the audience sing the refrain in perfect tune. It's a thing of beauty, that moment... but not something you can really capture in a waltz. And that's exactly what happens - the dance is well done and technically beautiful, but I can't connect it with the song at all. He gets a 10, 9 and 9 and people are disappointed, but I think that's right.

And now Nicole and Derek do their rumba. Not surprising that Carrie Ann is her mentor, and not just because she's the last judge left. CA has propped Nicole all season and I'm surprised she didn't walk into the room with a bouquet of roses and a diamond ring. She suggests that Nicole lets go and loses herself in the dance (my interpretation: stop freaking out about camera angles and being an artist and just enjoy dancing already). Their rumba... dang. Seriously beautiful. I enjoyed that tremendously. But yes, there's a lift. And Derek can say all he want that the music was over, but it clearly wasn't - and they were totally in character of the dance during that lift. Nice try, but no. It's a lift. And a deduction. Two nines and a 10 from Bruno.

So now we have the freelance round. Erin and Maks have fueled curiosity about their freestyle ever since Maks wrote on his blog that theirs won't be fast but not slow either. It's to "Alone" and right away we see a couch and a bed. This should be fun. Hmmm... I give them a LOT of credit for doing something very different, and it starts out kind of hot and fairly emotional. But it goes into something kind of frantic, with Maks flinging Erin around and a lot of spinning. If that's what Maks calls "the story of our relationship" then I just don't want to know. They do one awesome lift that the crowd loves and Erin emotes really, really well. But it was too hectic for most of this. Two nines and an eight (that was a bit low), so 55 for the night.

Evan and Anna are disagreeing and I don't like it. They're both trying to be very respectful, but Anna is crying and I don't like that. They wind up doing "Footloose" and I'm back in 7th grade waiting at the Commack Multiplex bouncing off the "luxurious reclining seats" (the place was brand new and one of the first big theaters around). Oh yeah, the dance... it's lots of fun, but a little crazy in a scarecrow on speed kind of way. But if he tamed it more, it wouldn't have had a wow factor - it would have just been technically sound but kind of dull (think Mya's freestyle last season). They get straight eights - ouch! Not good for such a tight competition. They end at 52 for the night.

Finally Nicole and Derek complete the night with their freestyle. They start in sparkly business suits dancing to Elvis, and I love it. And I hate that I love it, because someone with Nicole's level of experience doesn't belong in this show at all. But they're awesome. I LOVE how they didn't do an actual ballroom dance but still incorporated some ballroom steps in the routine. I can even suspend my disdain for her when they flub a lift at the end, and I'm actually disappointed for them. They earn straight nines, tying them with Erin and Maks (!) for the lead.

Interesting how we had not one 10 in the freestyle round - has that ever happened? No foregone conclusion tonight. It's anyone's mirrorball!

Friday, May 21, 2010

They really do need us, don't they?

This week my son had his first middle school football scrimmage. He has already played a season of tackle, and has been practicing with this older team for the past three weeks. And despite being pretty small for his age he loves hitting and getting hit. Heck, in flag football practice a couple of years ago he got mowed over by none other than Neal Anderson; poor Neal turned around in a panic to help him, only to see Dan pop up and say, "That was AWESOME!"

But as we sat on the bleachers waiting for the scrimmage to start, my athletic, fearless son looked at me and said, "Mom, I'm a little scared."

It's funny, I've never heard him say that. Not before his first tackle game last fall, not before he performed in a talent show three years ago. I've heard him say he was nervous, or excited... but never scared. So we talked a little, and I reminded him that once he starts playing it'll be just like it was last fall. And sure enough, he came to me later and told me that the fear disappeared after the first snap of the ball.

But it reminds me that history repeats itself with our kids. We always hear about how when they're toddlers, they want their independence and yet they need us so much. But I don't think this paradox is limited to toddlerhood. I remember being a teenager -a typical moody, fiercely independent teenager - coming home after school to an empty house... and the first thing I wanted to do was call my mom or dad. I didn't think I needed them, but that over-the-phone security blanket was just too cozy to resist.

I see it today in both of the kids. When I drop them off at school Dan makes me kiss him goodbye behind our car so his buddies don't see, only to surreptitiously wave at me again and again as I drive away. Erin wants me out of the room when she and her friends are hanging out, but she's the first to snuggle up with me when it's bedtime.

This is one of the reasons that I don't cry when I think about them growing up. History repeats itself with them.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Pay to play, or pay to... pay?

Our deck needs to be replaced. Although it's still usable, some of the wood is rotting, several boards stick out and it has become an eyesore. But we don't have the money to fix it right now. We could get a loan, but the responsible thing to do is wait and save for this needed, but not urgently necessary, repair.

If you've driven around Alachua County, you know that we have some roads to be fixed around here. In a few years we'll actually have the money to pay for some of the work, because in 2007 the county levied a five-cent gas tax. (By the way, most people traveling through Gainesville marvel at how much gas is here, and this is one reason why.)

But apparently that is not enough. Because despite these responsible plans to fund our roads - waiting until we actually have money before spending it - our county commission is thinking about borrowing the money instead. (Money that, I remind you, will probably be banked in a few years anyway.) And not just enough money for the first project slated - they're talking about loans to cover a handful of other road projects as well.

The plan, they say, is to pay back this large loan fairly quickly - with the money from the tax. Yes, the same tax created to raise money in the first place. The money for the work that will be done with the loan instead. Even more absurdly, Commissioner Mike Byerly expressed possible support for an additional half-cent sales tax in case the existing tax isn't enough to pay off the loan.

To quote Seth Meyers and Amy Poehler... REALLY?

I hate potholes as much as the next person, but the commissioners should take a cue from what the rest of us have to deal with in this economy - if it's not in the budget, we can't have it.