We have hit a new low, America

I have a newfound sadness for our country. Why do I say this? Is it because we're fighting each other over whose political rhetoric is worse instead of mourning six people who have died and praying for those injured? Is it because we have scores of birds and fish dying for no apparent reason? Is it because there are so few jobs out there and so many people who need them?

No. It is because of this:



This is a new product called Forever Lazy. It is described as "adult footed pajamas" (not sure why, since they seem to end at the ankle), and they come in four colors with names like, "Asleep on the Job Grey" and "Hanky Panky Fuschia."

These seem to be made for people who think that a blanket - even one with sleeves - is too darn complicated to use. And they show actors wearing them while studying, having coffee on a deck outside and playing with animals. My favorite is when they're tailgating before a football game. Yes, outside. In public. They look like Teletubbies on a bender.

But, you ask, what if you have to go to the bathroom? (By the way, that question makes you smarter than anyone who would buy Forever Lazy.) No problem, because - I kid you not - they have included strategically placed zippers for such an occasion. Witness:



I'll give you a minute to erase that thought from your brain.

Go ahead, I'll wait.

Ready to move on? Good. So there you have it. The decline of western civilization has begun with what amounts to a fleece prison jumpsuit. Awesome.