Jan. 10 - Born with a lucite spoon in her mouth

Today I learned yet another meaning for the word "luxury."

By now most of us know that a few days ago, Beyonce and Jay-Z welcomed their first child into the world - a baby girl named Blue Ivy Carter. I've never been a fan of either parent's music, but I can respect that both are talented, hardworking people in a solid marriage. And these people are so rich that this kid will likely shit gold bricks and want for nothing. So in all sincerity - Mazel Tov, you crazy kids.

Little details have since emerged about the blessed event - the kind of birth, the celebrity well-wishes, the alleged closure of an entire wing of Lenox Hill Hospital. But none so absolutely awesome as this:

Courtesy of US Weekly's website... this is the lucite crib that the happy parents have purchased for their daughter. And it costs $3500.

No, I'm not going to begrudge them spending that much on a crib. They earned their money fair and square, and they already raise/donate millions of dollars for worthy causes. A sum that big is fitting for a 2200-square-foot nursery (as is detailed by a "source"). Knock yourselves out, Carter family.

I just think while it's not my personal taste, it's fabulously intriguing for many reasons - all of which I will present in a point-counterpoint format. (Mind you, not all of these are serious. I'm not an idiot.)

1) POINT - There are some conveniences. For one, it's much easier to see the baby. And it's probably easier for the baby to see out as well. That's pretty neat.

2) COUNTERPOINT - What if the baby can't see the slats? Are there any studies done on the dangers of this? Could the baby move forward, thinking her path is unobstructed, and crash into the bars like a bird that doesn't see a sliding glass door?

3) POINT - Clear lucite will match any paint, trim or bedding colors. Again, quite convenient.

4) COUNTERPOINT - That thing is gonna be a bitch to keep clean. Can you imagine how easily fingerprints and drool will show up? Not to mention that the most popular use I've seen for clear lucite is stripper heels. Do we really want to instill a love for this material so early? Will the playroom have a firehouse pole and a lighted stage?

5) POINT - This crib likely has nice smooth edges, which is very safe for the teething little ones. Bonus design point - it's probably firm enough to not show teeth marks.

6) COUNTERPOINT - Apparently the main ingredient in lucite is petroleum. Yum. Sure makes me want to nosh on that siderail.

And on a side note - what's up with the playground balls in the picture? Have babies developed a fondness for crib dodgeball tournaments?

Enjoy the new digs, Blue Ivy. And if you don't like how they arranged your room, you can always ask your mom to move that crib - to the left, to the left...