Jan. 25 - I meant to do that

Today I learned that if you're trying to win a big jackpot in a radio contest, you should not take a shower.

Because - hypothetically speaking, of course - you might try to take that shower during the time span of one song (and crank up the stereo so you can hear it over the water) so you don't miss that cue to call the radio station. You might even strategically place your phone within your reach near the shower, so you have it handy in case the cue plays.

But in your haste, you might turn the water on so hot that you scald your back.

You might shampoo so fast that you don't quite rinse all the suds out of your hair.

You might forget halfway through your shower that you had makeup on earlier in the day, so you tug at your eyelashes to remove your mascara - only to get a chunk of the black stuff (or maybe an eyelash, or a plank) in your eye.

While you frantically rinse your face, some of those suds from your shampoo might get into your eye and make the pain worse.

Once you are completely soap-free (although probably not pain-free), you might turn off the water just in time to hear the cue to call the radio station. That might also be the time that your cordless phone's battery goes dead.

You might wrap your soaking self in a towel and dash to the kitchen to grab a charged phone. Your young daughter might come around the corner and just miss seeing your barely-covered ass. And you might slip and almost kill yourself on the wet ceramic tile.

And you might not even get through on the phone lines.

So please, if you're trying to win a radio contest, deal with your own stink. Because I've heard that all of this can happen.

Hypothetically speaking, of course.