Thursday, July 29, 2010

Pet Peeve Hunters

My husband and I regularly watch House Hunters on HGTV, probably for the same reason I love to pick up Real Estate Guides from everywhere we visit. No, I don't have any plans to move to central Georgia, but I do like to see what your dollar gets you.

But with this curiosity comes frustration and my resulting sarcasm. Because there are some things people look for or avoid in a home that I just don't understand. So rather than be the bigger person and accept the differences we all have... I just make fun of them. It's a lot more interesting that way.

Double sinks. I cannot for the life of me figure out this obsession that so many couples seem to have. I've been married for 15 years and for the most part both of us left at about the same time to go to work. Yet I can probably count on one hand the number of times my husband and I have needed to brush our teeth at EXACTLY the same moment. This is when that whole Taking Turns unit in kindergarten comes in so handy. If it's because the wife thinks the husband is a slob, then I assume they're getting separate kitchens and bathrooms entirely, no?

Stairs. Ah, the aversion of so many parents with young children. And being a parent myself I can understand to a degree. But guess what? I grew up in a house with stairs. We have stairs in our home now. And we bought this house when I was pregnant with my second, so my baby had to learn to navigate them when she became mobile. Which meant that I had to keep an eye on her. (I know, right?) So it's a little crazy to see people freak out because a three-year-old will have to face two steps to go up from a sunken living room.

A pool. Now, I grew up with a pool so maybe I'm biased. But it's hilarious to see people lose their shit when they're looking at a house that's just perfect... only to rule it out because it had a pool. Either it's a safety concern with their kids or they break out the "It's too much trouble" argument. But these are usually the same people to fish for an invite to their neighbor's house, where a sparkling blue oasis of chlorinated relief beckons them from the backyard. Yep, I'll remember that the next time you peek your head over my fence while I'm lounging in the cool water on a 95 degree day. Enjoy your sprinklers.

A vacation home. This one almost deserves a blog entry of its own. First, I have trouble wrapping my head around the concept of a vacation home. If you're only going to be there a few times a year at most, isn't it more logical to rent a place each time? Sure, you can always rent out your own vacation home when you're not there. But then you have to hire someone to maintain it, or drive/fly down there yourself regularly. Granted, one show featured a family that travels to Morocco regularly for work and charity efforts. That I can totaly see. Otherwise, unless you're truly a multi-millionaire I don't see the point.

Second, the features they want in these homes absolutely crack me up. I saw where a family of five bought a "vacation home" that was over 3000 square feet. Really? Unless Paris Hilton is vacationing with you (in which case you'll need the room for both her luggage and the quarantine area), I can't imagine why one family needs that much space for an occasional place to stay. "Oh, this will be great for entertaining..." Entertaining who, exactly? Are you expecting to be besties with the locals? Because I'm sure all of the area merchants whose families have been there for generations are thrilled with the obnoxious American family moving into a house the size of the town square. I won't even get into their lamenting about a lack of closets (how much clothing do you need for five days?) or counter space.

So am I the only one who thinks this way?