Da da dot daaaaa, da da dot daaaaa, da da dot daaaaaaa....
Ah, the weekly costume parade! Chelsea looks like a St. Pauli Girl blow-up doll with Mark as her ringmaster mime pimp. Awesome.
Ray and Anna – “Last week was my comeback fight – this week is my rematch.” Given Ray’s low scores for last week’s foxtrot, that makes no sense. He and Anna have the jive this time, and it’s not that bad. He needs to point his toes and make his arms bigger, but he’s moving nicely along the floor. I would have liked to see more actual jive footwork, though, and his kicks didn’t have much punch – no pun intended – in them. Best moment is after the dance when Anna mouths back to Len about his criticism. (Len: “Do you think I want to say something bad?” Anna: “Yes.”) They get another 17 to match last week.
Kendra and Louis – Ah, we get the weekly cry out of the way early. Last episode it was Wendy, and now it’s Kendra who has the breakdown. “Poor me, nobody knows what I’m like, blah blah blah…” You know, as much as I love this show I have a hard time feeling sorry for people who get paid a big shitpot full of money to learn how to dance. Suck it up, sista. We do get a great quote from her, though – “I’m not a lady.” Snerk. So the dance… this is a weird tempo/beat for a quickstep. I figure if you want someone to feel like a lady in this dance, you get a more classic song than this. Kendra looks so uptight, and I don’t like the choreography at all; there is almost no elegance involved. She gets a 19, so a little improvement from last week. I still think she has good potential (both for dancing and for hilarious one-liners) so I hope she stays.
Chelsea and Mark – They have the jive. Um, I know Mark was born in England, but since when does he actually speak with an accent? That just came out of nowhere. Yet another turd moment with him, which sucks because Chelsea is charming and dances really well. But having Mark as a partner will keep me from voting for her. So their performance… Well, now. That's different. Not much jive, very conceptual. It’s like Tim Burton made up a dance while doing acid and listening to the Sweeney Todd soundtrack. It’s entertaining and creative in a creepy way, but it’s not a jive. And HOLY CRAP THEY FINALLY NAILED MARK ON THESE SHENANIGANS. I never thought I’d see this coming, especially when they gave him a pass through all of last season with Bristol and the gorilla suits. They get an 18, including a 5 from Len. Ouch. I feel bad for Chelsea, but Mark squanders that goodwill by listing the steps he did include and sounding like a sniveling brat.
Chris and Cheryl – Chris does a lot of talking about his frame and how he wants to be solid like oak taken from Denmark by the Vikings and… I don’t know. I think he’s channeling Gary Busey. So they do the quickstep and, wow, it’s adorable in a very macho way. Chris was surprisingly smooth and light and having a wonderful time! This is a really enjoyable dance and the crowd loves it. The judges agree and give them a 23. Chris is hilariously happy and calling Cheryl a dance Yoda. Oh yeah. Busey.
Petra and Dmitry – Oh, this poor girl. She is deathly scared of the tricks in the jive, and with good reason. Not only is she very tall, but she’s got pins in her hips from the tsunami injuries she suffered. They’re dancing to “Crazy Little Thing Called Love” – one of the many songs I hear on the radio and think, “Oooooh, this would make a great (insert dance name here).” Because I’m a dork. So they’re jiving and it starts okay, and she’s really trying to sell it. Her footwork and kicks are decent, but she is a little awkward. No, she’s a lot awkward. There’s one point where she almost stops in the middle of the floor and another Dmitry sits her on the desk and she… gyrates? Has a seizure? I’m not sure. She’s eager to please, though – something I can say about almost all the contestants this season. They earn an 18.
Kirstie and Maks – They’ve got the quickstep. Being a big(ish) girl myself, I can’t imagine doing this dance if you weigh more than 100 lbs because of the speed involved. So if Kirstie can haul herself across the floor for this one, the girl can do anything. It’s not an easy dance for anybody – something Maks kindly reassures her about during rehearsals. They get to performance and yep, it’s good. A few mishaps make it a bit worse than last week, but she’s actually quite swift and graceful. She did fall a bit behind in the middle, though, and couldn’t quite catch up. They end the dance with a big fat kiss, and when they get to Brooke they reveal that it was not at all expected by Maks. Heh. I like how Kirstie keeps him guessing. They got a 20 which is a slight drop from last week, but people get a huge kick out of these two so we can be pretty sure they’ll be safe for awhile.
Mike and Lacey – Awww, Mike gave Lacey roses to apologize for his performance last week. That’s kind of sweet. He shows some kicks in rehearsal that look pretty promising, too. I wonder if he was just seriously slacking before the first performance and thought he could just skate by on personality. Will the new skills translate to the ballroom? Sadly, no. The one kicking sequence they showed in rehearsal is fantastic, but the rest of it is stompy. He has no bounce in his step and just kind of runs from one place to the next. Carrie Ann nails it when she says he needs to look at the routine as a whole, instead of “This is Section A, this is Section B.” They get a 17, one point better from each judge than last week. And his attitude seems to be better after getting his scores – maybe he really did step it up a notch.
Romeo and Chelsie – Romeo thinks the quickstep is sexy, and he doesn’t know what charming means. Oh, good. They’re dancing to “You’re the One that I Want” from Grease and the tempo is really slow. And not in that “slowed down to accompany the dance” way – it’s too slow for a quickstep and I’m not getting into this at all. It should be really cute and fun, but they look like they’re trying to jump in slow motion to match the music. But apparently I’m the only one who thinks this was a mess because the judges love it. Even Len thinks it’s the best dance of the night so far. Are we watching the same show? They get a 23. I don’t get it. Chris and Cheryl were better and got the same score.
Wendy and Tony – Is it just me, or did Wendy seem more subdued during the post-stair dance line at the beginning of the show? Like she kind of didn’t care. But she claimed that she’ll use the low score from last week as motivation. Either way, it's only the second week and I’m already tired of her bitching about her boobs. Get a reduction or love your ladies, but shut up either way. In the ballroom, their quickstep looks a little dumbed down and she still lacks energy, but she does get the footwork right and glides well. I do like how Tony tailored the beginning business to her personality, but otherwise she seems to be phoning it in yet again. She winds up with a 17, three points higher than last week.
Ralph and Karina – Ralph is starting to remind me a little of Joe Pantoliano with his accent and the pitch of his voice. He’s worried about looking stupid so he brings in his wife and kids for their opinions. His son speaks first and whoa, he sounds like his dad. I mean the same EXACT voice. Then they show his daughter, who is his physical doppelganger. No milkman here. They assure their dad that he does not look like a dork. Their jive – good, but not as good as last week. He sells it, that’s for sure. But his kicks are floppy and they need to be sharp. And you can tell that he’s exhausted by the end, which is par for the course for everyone (frankly, I’m kind of surprised they’re jiving so early in the competition). They get 7s across the board, which seems about right.
Hines and Kym – The hilarious part of this segment is Kym trying to understand and speak American slang. Sadly, Hines doesn’t look cool enough to use it either. So they start this mutual descent into that scene in Airplane when the stewardess can't speak jive and the elderly woman has to translate. But these two are kind of cute together so it works. However, the rehearsals don’t seem to be going well – Hines looks really awkward trying to do these steps and at one point has this Communist Army march thing going. But for the second week in a row, his actual performance was much better than practice. It’s a bit awkward in parts but he does well and they have great chemistry. They get a 23, which is even better than last week.
So, predictions? I say either Petra or Mike will go home. My preference would be Wendy – I just don’t see her doing any better. But her talk show fan base might keep her in for a few weeks.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
DWTS - Theeeeey're baaaaaaack....
... and more glittery than ever! Despite the absence of Derek Hough's teeth, the blinding cheese that is Dancing With The Stars returned to my TV last night. And yes, I couldn't be happier.
First up, Chelsea Kane and Mark Ballas. And I think I may have tuned into the wrong show, because Chelsea senses an "instant connection" with Mark as he talks about how "young and cute" his new partner is. Am I watching The Bachelor? Because if this is any indication, I really don't want to see their rumba. After all, Mark's father is Corky Ballas - the man who turned a Beatles hit and a TV mother-icon into our worst nightmare.
Anywho, Chelsea and Mark dance the foxtrot and it's pretty cute. She's not very smooth and kind of throws herself around a bit, but she's got spunk and the two seem to enjoy themselves. They wind up with three 7s, and with the Disney voting contingent behind her she'll likely stick around for a few weeks.
Next we have Wendy Williams and Tony Dovolani. Like most of you, I know of Wendy mainly because of Joel McHale and The Soup. I find her a lot more likable in her own context though, because she fully embraces the crazy as part of who she is.
Which is why her cha cha is terribly disappointing. I don't expect her to be a great dancer, but I do expect a lot more fun. Here she looks like the reluctant dance partner at a wedding reception where she needs a lot more to drink before she becomes the sweaty, gyrating mess that everyone else is waiting for. And she's almost half a beat behind Tony. That's not the worst, though - the worst is when she gets her scores (5, 4, 5) and actually looks a little pissed. Did she honestly think it was better than that?
Hines Ward and Kym Johnson are next. My unhealthy knowledge of E! personalities comes through when I comment to my husband that Hines looks a bit like Jo Koy. He also seems pretty friendly and hard-working, which always earns points with me. Their cha cha... fun, and better than I thought. But dude has no hip action whatsoever, and I'm surprised the judges didn't ding him much for it. That's got to change or he won't be around for long, despite the three 7s that he got for the routine.
Okay, Petra Nemcova and Dmitry Idontcareenoughtolookuphislastnaame are up with a foxtrot. And I hope she shows more identifying traits than "supermodel" and "tsunami survivor." Not that I knock either one, especially the second - but Dmitry bores me to tears so I need someone fun to offset that. Their foxtrot is kind of decent, very safe (apparently her injuries limit her flexibility, so that will be tough later on) and they look lovely, but not enough to get past three 6s. No wow factor, but I would like to see if she comes out a little more. My worry here, though, is that she'll get lost in the voting shuffle a la Paulina Porizkova four years ago.
Now we have Romeo and Chelsie Hightower. Right away we see that Romeo is willing to work way harder than his dad, or at the very least will wear the proper shoes. And he obviously has some natural talent to move. Unfortunately he did inherit his dad's pride, in the form of "I don't want to look like an idiot." And in dancing, an attempt to prevent yourself from looking like an idiot actually makes you look more like an idiot than if you actually do what you're told. This is what happens during his cha cha - when he forgets to try and look cool, he dances better. Otherwise he looks pervy and awkward. He winds up with a 7 and two 6s, but I think he can do a lot better if he gets over himself.
Next, Sugar Ray Leonard and Anna Trebunskaya do a foxtrot. The first thing I notice, sadly, is Anna's wild Peg-Bundy-without-bangs bouffant that is absolutely awful. Paired with her fuschia dress (which, I'm sorry, but redheads should not wear fuscia. Ever.) and it has to be a bid to distract us from Ray's dancing. Which... yeah, it's bad. I hate to say it, because he seems so sweet. He does have some good moments when not in hold and is having a good time. But he's really stiff and not musical at all. The judges give him a 5 and two 6s. He'll get by on nostalgia/sympathy for a little while but this wasn't a good start.
And now, Kendra Wilkinson and Louis Van Amstel. They seem to get along great in rehearsal, with Kendra gamely acknowledging her less-than-prim claims to fame. And boy, she looks terrific. But her cha cha... a disappointment. Not terrible in the least, and she can move her ass just fine. But she's dancing in her head and either mouthing the words to the song or counting out loud, tough to say. Still, lots of potential. Plus according to the judges, Louis' choreography was very difficult for this stage in the game. So I'm willing to give her the benefit of the doubt along with her three 6s.
Ahhh, Ralph Macchio. The original Karate Kid and, apparently, discoverer of the fountain of youth. Yet for all the discussion about how he's pushing 50 but looks about 35, we still get him talking about bad backs and wheelchairs. (Plus, can someone PLEASE do something with his hair? It's like an 80s yearbook photo for a freshman on the tennis team.) Still he's quite charming and sweet, and he and Karina Smirnoff seem to enjoy their rehearsals. And his foxtrot... seriously awesome. He has a few missteps and wobbles, but the part they dance out of hold makes me think of a shorter Fred Astaire. I'm not even exaggerating. It's a fantastic routine and the crowd eats it up. Three 8s for his first go around.
Chris Jericho and Cheryl Burke get to follow that act. Chris is actually kind of hot, but he has that wrestler intensity that creeps just under the surface. You know, the mouth is smiling but the eyes are figuring out which way to bash you over the head with a chair? Freaky. Their cha cha is a bit clunky, with Cheryl doing the potted-plant treatment with him (she dances circles around him while he stands there) so I'm not sure what kind of dancer he really is. But Cheryl usually likes to challenge her partners, so that can't be a good sign. He has a 7 and two 6s for the effort, which I think is a tad overscored.
Mike Catherwood(who?) and Lacey Schwimmer are up now and... oh, Lacey. We all know last year's bleach job was horrible, but for the love of God chop off the dead half of your hair and dye the rest of it whatever color you're going for. I know the slightly-trashy-dark-roots look is kind of in right now, but they're not supposed to be six inches out from your head. That is seriously awful.
Oh yeah, she has a partner. Is it me, is Mike kind of like a taller Hal Sparks? He has the same voice, facial expressions and self-deprecation going on. How's his dancing? Umm... pretty bad. He's trying hard and seems like a nice guy, but he has no musicality whatsoever, and the foxtrot is not the dance for that (not that any dance is... but the foxtrot makes it far worse). He looks really bummed about his scores (5, 4, 4). I hope he improves because he seems pretty earnest, but barring a miracle for the second dance you have my prediction for the first exit of the season.
Finally, the pair everyone has been waiting for - Kirstie Alley and Maksim Chmerkovskiy. My initial prediction about this pairing was that Kirstie would drive Maks nuts with her neuroses. And she still just might, but for now apparently they spend rehearsals cracking each other up. I'm getting a really great vibe from these two.
Their cha cha... holy crap, girl is ON! She nails her steps, she moves very quickly yet still pretty controlled, and she actually makes it look easy. She and Maks are having a lot of fun and she is really, really good. I am seriously surprised here. Loved, loved, LOVED this routine! And so did the judges, who gave her two 8s and a 7. If this continues, it'd be fun to see Kirstie and Ralph in the finals - because the added bonus would be the face off between bitter exes Maks and Karina. Muahahaha....
No elimination this week - next Monday each couple dances again, then next Tuesday is the first elimination. Stay tuned!
First up, Chelsea Kane and Mark Ballas. And I think I may have tuned into the wrong show, because Chelsea senses an "instant connection" with Mark as he talks about how "young and cute" his new partner is. Am I watching The Bachelor? Because if this is any indication, I really don't want to see their rumba. After all, Mark's father is Corky Ballas - the man who turned a Beatles hit and a TV mother-icon into our worst nightmare.
Anywho, Chelsea and Mark dance the foxtrot and it's pretty cute. She's not very smooth and kind of throws herself around a bit, but she's got spunk and the two seem to enjoy themselves. They wind up with three 7s, and with the Disney voting contingent behind her she'll likely stick around for a few weeks.
Next we have Wendy Williams and Tony Dovolani. Like most of you, I know of Wendy mainly because of Joel McHale and The Soup. I find her a lot more likable in her own context though, because she fully embraces the crazy as part of who she is.
Which is why her cha cha is terribly disappointing. I don't expect her to be a great dancer, but I do expect a lot more fun. Here she looks like the reluctant dance partner at a wedding reception where she needs a lot more to drink before she becomes the sweaty, gyrating mess that everyone else is waiting for. And she's almost half a beat behind Tony. That's not the worst, though - the worst is when she gets her scores (5, 4, 5) and actually looks a little pissed. Did she honestly think it was better than that?
Hines Ward and Kym Johnson are next. My unhealthy knowledge of E! personalities comes through when I comment to my husband that Hines looks a bit like Jo Koy. He also seems pretty friendly and hard-working, which always earns points with me. Their cha cha... fun, and better than I thought. But dude has no hip action whatsoever, and I'm surprised the judges didn't ding him much for it. That's got to change or he won't be around for long, despite the three 7s that he got for the routine.
Okay, Petra Nemcova and Dmitry Idontcareenoughtolookuphislastnaame are up with a foxtrot. And I hope she shows more identifying traits than "supermodel" and "tsunami survivor." Not that I knock either one, especially the second - but Dmitry bores me to tears so I need someone fun to offset that. Their foxtrot is kind of decent, very safe (apparently her injuries limit her flexibility, so that will be tough later on) and they look lovely, but not enough to get past three 6s. No wow factor, but I would like to see if she comes out a little more. My worry here, though, is that she'll get lost in the voting shuffle a la Paulina Porizkova four years ago.
Now we have Romeo and Chelsie Hightower. Right away we see that Romeo is willing to work way harder than his dad, or at the very least will wear the proper shoes. And he obviously has some natural talent to move. Unfortunately he did inherit his dad's pride, in the form of "I don't want to look like an idiot." And in dancing, an attempt to prevent yourself from looking like an idiot actually makes you look more like an idiot than if you actually do what you're told. This is what happens during his cha cha - when he forgets to try and look cool, he dances better. Otherwise he looks pervy and awkward. He winds up with a 7 and two 6s, but I think he can do a lot better if he gets over himself.
Next, Sugar Ray Leonard and Anna Trebunskaya do a foxtrot. The first thing I notice, sadly, is Anna's wild Peg-Bundy-without-bangs bouffant that is absolutely awful. Paired with her fuschia dress (which, I'm sorry, but redheads should not wear fuscia. Ever.) and it has to be a bid to distract us from Ray's dancing. Which... yeah, it's bad. I hate to say it, because he seems so sweet. He does have some good moments when not in hold and is having a good time. But he's really stiff and not musical at all. The judges give him a 5 and two 6s. He'll get by on nostalgia/sympathy for a little while but this wasn't a good start.
And now, Kendra Wilkinson and Louis Van Amstel. They seem to get along great in rehearsal, with Kendra gamely acknowledging her less-than-prim claims to fame. And boy, she looks terrific. But her cha cha... a disappointment. Not terrible in the least, and she can move her ass just fine. But she's dancing in her head and either mouthing the words to the song or counting out loud, tough to say. Still, lots of potential. Plus according to the judges, Louis' choreography was very difficult for this stage in the game. So I'm willing to give her the benefit of the doubt along with her three 6s.
Ahhh, Ralph Macchio. The original Karate Kid and, apparently, discoverer of the fountain of youth. Yet for all the discussion about how he's pushing 50 but looks about 35, we still get him talking about bad backs and wheelchairs. (Plus, can someone PLEASE do something with his hair? It's like an 80s yearbook photo for a freshman on the tennis team.) Still he's quite charming and sweet, and he and Karina Smirnoff seem to enjoy their rehearsals. And his foxtrot... seriously awesome. He has a few missteps and wobbles, but the part they dance out of hold makes me think of a shorter Fred Astaire. I'm not even exaggerating. It's a fantastic routine and the crowd eats it up. Three 8s for his first go around.
Chris Jericho and Cheryl Burke get to follow that act. Chris is actually kind of hot, but he has that wrestler intensity that creeps just under the surface. You know, the mouth is smiling but the eyes are figuring out which way to bash you over the head with a chair? Freaky. Their cha cha is a bit clunky, with Cheryl doing the potted-plant treatment with him (she dances circles around him while he stands there) so I'm not sure what kind of dancer he really is. But Cheryl usually likes to challenge her partners, so that can't be a good sign. He has a 7 and two 6s for the effort, which I think is a tad overscored.
Mike Catherwood(who?) and Lacey Schwimmer are up now and... oh, Lacey. We all know last year's bleach job was horrible, but for the love of God chop off the dead half of your hair and dye the rest of it whatever color you're going for. I know the slightly-trashy-dark-roots look is kind of in right now, but they're not supposed to be six inches out from your head. That is seriously awful.
Oh yeah, she has a partner. Is it me, is Mike kind of like a taller Hal Sparks? He has the same voice, facial expressions and self-deprecation going on. How's his dancing? Umm... pretty bad. He's trying hard and seems like a nice guy, but he has no musicality whatsoever, and the foxtrot is not the dance for that (not that any dance is... but the foxtrot makes it far worse). He looks really bummed about his scores (5, 4, 4). I hope he improves because he seems pretty earnest, but barring a miracle for the second dance you have my prediction for the first exit of the season.
Finally, the pair everyone has been waiting for - Kirstie Alley and Maksim Chmerkovskiy. My initial prediction about this pairing was that Kirstie would drive Maks nuts with her neuroses. And she still just might, but for now apparently they spend rehearsals cracking each other up. I'm getting a really great vibe from these two.
Their cha cha... holy crap, girl is ON! She nails her steps, she moves very quickly yet still pretty controlled, and she actually makes it look easy. She and Maks are having a lot of fun and she is really, really good. I am seriously surprised here. Loved, loved, LOVED this routine! And so did the judges, who gave her two 8s and a 7. If this continues, it'd be fun to see Kirstie and Ralph in the finals - because the added bonus would be the face off between bitter exes Maks and Karina. Muahahaha....
No elimination this week - next Monday each couple dances again, then next Tuesday is the first elimination. Stay tuned!
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
A new season of DWTS? Yep, I'm on it.
Ah, the familiar sounds of spring - birds chirping, mowers mowing, heels clicking on the dance floor. It's time for another round of Dancing With The Stars, and count my dorky self among those who waited anxiously for the cast announcement this week. This time around we're facing a competition without a Hough sibling - something that hasn't happened since Season 3. That can be a good thing or a bad thing, depending on your tolerance for excessive camera mugging and attention-hog shenanigans.
Now that the celebrities (a term that can actually be used this season) have been paired with their pros, let's begin the speculation!
Kirstie Alley and Maksim Chmerkovskiy - Well well well, they finally got her! After several requests from the producers, Ms. Alley herself is bringing her own brand of loopy insanity to the ballroom. But I think the best part of this is that she's paired with Maks. And as we all know, Maks no likey the crazy (see Debi Mazar, Denise Richards). This could be fun to watch, but sadly I get the feeling that our favorite Scientologist will not catch on quickly. Combine that with her partner's impatience and I'm sensing an early "shocker" send off a la David Hasselhoff. Please let me be wrong. Please.
Petra Nemcova and Dmitry Chaplin - I love how one press account says this about Petra's casting - "A model previously linked to James Blunt and Sean Penn." I understand that it's modeling, but can we at least talk about where her image has appeared or who has photographed her? No? Only who she's banged? Lovely, press. Just for that I'm pulling for her. But I hope she's fun to watch, because Dmitry has about as much personality as my kitchen sponge.
Ralph Macchio and Karina Smirnoff - While some 80s heartthrobs have become coke-fueled polygamist tigers with fire breathing fists (I swear I'm not making this up), Ralph Macchio has quietly gone about his life. Now known as a nice family guy who performed with the national touring production of the musical How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying, he apparently has at least some dancing ability to go with his Karate Kid prowess. It's exactly the easygoing nature that can respond well to Karina's spitfire direction without taking it personally. He just might live to incorporate the Crane move in his freestyle.
Sugar Ray Leonard and Anna Trebunskaya - We cover the "legendary athlete" and "old-ish guy" slots in one fell swoop here. Leonard could move in the boxing ring and he'll be used to Anna's tough training style. But will he be able to express emotion through a face that seems Botoxed into the next decade?
Chris Jericho and Cheryl Burke - I've heard this guy's name in WWE news/discussion so I know he exists. Aaaaaand that's about it. But if he has even the remotest sense of rhythm and musicality, Cheryl can take him farther than most would (see Maurice Green).
Kendra Wilkinson and Louis van Amstel - Out of the three Girls Next Door, Kendra was my least favorite. With her obnoxious laugh and bitchy demeanor, I never thought she fit in with the sweet natures of Holly and Bridget. And when she got her own show I thought, "I'll never watch that crap." But I did. And... dammit, I liked her. She's so much happier and nicer with Hank, but still has that Kendra personality. She can move incredibly well and is paired with a genial yet hard-driving pro in Louis - if he gives her the right choreography, she's a lock for the finals.
Wendy Williams and Tony Dovolani - Poor Tony. He gets a great partner last fall, only to get torpedoed by the Bristol Palin Juggernaut far too soon. And now he has Wendy Williams, who along with Kirstie Alley will amp the crazy woman quotient the likes of which we've never seen. Unlike Maks, however, Tony has a more patient nature. If Wendy can move at all, she could make it for a few weeks on sheer entertainment value. At least that's what Joel McHale hopes.
Romeo and Chelsie Hightower - Let's hope the apple falls reeeeeeaaaaally far from the tree. Romeo's dad is the infamous Master P, a season 2 participant who perhaps was the worst and least enthusiastic contestant in DWTS history. (Although in his defense he was subbing for Romeo, who was originally slated for that season but got injured and had to withdraw.) Good-natured Chelsie has yet to get a partner with a natural feel for dance, so here's hoping Romeo breaks that streak for her.
Disney actress Chelsea Kane and Mark Ballas - My two children have watched the Disney Channel for several years, which means of course that I can quote countless episodes of Hannah Montana and Suite Life On Deck. Yet I have no idea who Chelsea Kane is. I'm sorry, but that's pretty telling. She's partnered with Mark, who is perhaps my least favorite pro. Two strikes already for me. But Disney princesses are generally the singing-acting-dancing triple threat that stage mothers push into show business in the hopes of reclaiming their own lost glory. So unless this girl is a complete bitch, she probably has the skills to stick around for at least half the competition.
Hines Ward and Kym Johnson - He's great on my fantasy football team, but will he bring down Team Cha Cha Cha? Football players historically do well on this show, ranging from respectable finishes to championships. And Kym's back after having been pawed by Uncle Bad Touch in a mercifully short stint by David Hasselhoff. Hopefully Hines will be a bit more serious of a competitor for her.
“Psycho” Mike Catherwood and Lacey Schwimmer - No idea who this guy is. But my general rule is if you have to add an adjective to your name, you're probably not that adjective - you just like to think you are. At least he's handsome, so he's got the eye-candy factor going for him. He also has Lacey, who in my opinion is the best at tailoring choreography to a contestant's personality and strengths. Could be a dark horse for the season if he has the charisma to win over people who have never heard of him. It's been done before, most recently by Kyle Massey when he was paired with... yep, Lacey.
So what do you think? Any thoughts or early predictions? Let me know!
Now that the celebrities (a term that can actually be used this season) have been paired with their pros, let's begin the speculation!
Kirstie Alley and Maksim Chmerkovskiy - Well well well, they finally got her! After several requests from the producers, Ms. Alley herself is bringing her own brand of loopy insanity to the ballroom. But I think the best part of this is that she's paired with Maks. And as we all know, Maks no likey the crazy (see Debi Mazar, Denise Richards). This could be fun to watch, but sadly I get the feeling that our favorite Scientologist will not catch on quickly. Combine that with her partner's impatience and I'm sensing an early "shocker" send off a la David Hasselhoff. Please let me be wrong. Please.
Petra Nemcova and Dmitry Chaplin - I love how one press account says this about Petra's casting - "A model previously linked to James Blunt and Sean Penn." I understand that it's modeling, but can we at least talk about where her image has appeared or who has photographed her? No? Only who she's banged? Lovely, press. Just for that I'm pulling for her. But I hope she's fun to watch, because Dmitry has about as much personality as my kitchen sponge.
Ralph Macchio and Karina Smirnoff - While some 80s heartthrobs have become coke-fueled polygamist tigers with fire breathing fists (I swear I'm not making this up), Ralph Macchio has quietly gone about his life. Now known as a nice family guy who performed with the national touring production of the musical How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying, he apparently has at least some dancing ability to go with his Karate Kid prowess. It's exactly the easygoing nature that can respond well to Karina's spitfire direction without taking it personally. He just might live to incorporate the Crane move in his freestyle.
Sugar Ray Leonard and Anna Trebunskaya - We cover the "legendary athlete" and "old-ish guy" slots in one fell swoop here. Leonard could move in the boxing ring and he'll be used to Anna's tough training style. But will he be able to express emotion through a face that seems Botoxed into the next decade?
Chris Jericho and Cheryl Burke - I've heard this guy's name in WWE news/discussion so I know he exists. Aaaaaand that's about it. But if he has even the remotest sense of rhythm and musicality, Cheryl can take him farther than most would (see Maurice Green).
Kendra Wilkinson and Louis van Amstel - Out of the three Girls Next Door, Kendra was my least favorite. With her obnoxious laugh and bitchy demeanor, I never thought she fit in with the sweet natures of Holly and Bridget. And when she got her own show I thought, "I'll never watch that crap." But I did. And... dammit, I liked her. She's so much happier and nicer with Hank, but still has that Kendra personality. She can move incredibly well and is paired with a genial yet hard-driving pro in Louis - if he gives her the right choreography, she's a lock for the finals.
Wendy Williams and Tony Dovolani - Poor Tony. He gets a great partner last fall, only to get torpedoed by the Bristol Palin Juggernaut far too soon. And now he has Wendy Williams, who along with Kirstie Alley will amp the crazy woman quotient the likes of which we've never seen. Unlike Maks, however, Tony has a more patient nature. If Wendy can move at all, she could make it for a few weeks on sheer entertainment value. At least that's what Joel McHale hopes.
Romeo and Chelsie Hightower - Let's hope the apple falls reeeeeeaaaaally far from the tree. Romeo's dad is the infamous Master P, a season 2 participant who perhaps was the worst and least enthusiastic contestant in DWTS history. (Although in his defense he was subbing for Romeo, who was originally slated for that season but got injured and had to withdraw.) Good-natured Chelsie has yet to get a partner with a natural feel for dance, so here's hoping Romeo breaks that streak for her.
Disney actress Chelsea Kane and Mark Ballas - My two children have watched the Disney Channel for several years, which means of course that I can quote countless episodes of Hannah Montana and Suite Life On Deck. Yet I have no idea who Chelsea Kane is. I'm sorry, but that's pretty telling. She's partnered with Mark, who is perhaps my least favorite pro. Two strikes already for me. But Disney princesses are generally the singing-acting-dancing triple threat that stage mothers push into show business in the hopes of reclaiming their own lost glory. So unless this girl is a complete bitch, she probably has the skills to stick around for at least half the competition.
Hines Ward and Kym Johnson - He's great on my fantasy football team, but will he bring down Team Cha Cha Cha? Football players historically do well on this show, ranging from respectable finishes to championships. And Kym's back after having been pawed by Uncle Bad Touch in a mercifully short stint by David Hasselhoff. Hopefully Hines will be a bit more serious of a competitor for her.
“Psycho” Mike Catherwood and Lacey Schwimmer - No idea who this guy is. But my general rule is if you have to add an adjective to your name, you're probably not that adjective - you just like to think you are. At least he's handsome, so he's got the eye-candy factor going for him. He also has Lacey, who in my opinion is the best at tailoring choreography to a contestant's personality and strengths. Could be a dark horse for the season if he has the charisma to win over people who have never heard of him. It's been done before, most recently by Kyle Massey when he was paired with... yep, Lacey.
So what do you think? Any thoughts or early predictions? Let me know!
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