Week ending Feb. 5 - Someone needs driving lessons

This week I learned that, despite what my parents always told me, I do not have the biggest wise-mouth in the world. That honor goes to Giselle Bundchen, who tried in vain to keep her yapper shut last night after her husband, Tom Brady, and the Patriots lost the Super Bowl to my Giants.

For those of you who either don't give a flying fig about football or live in a cave, Giselle was on her way to comfort her husband after the game. At first she was able to ignore potshots being shouted at her - including the rude-yet-quite-hilarious, "Eli owns your husband" from one Giants fan. But at that point she turned to her friend and, loudly enough for recorders to pick up, said:

My husband cannot f***ing throw the ball and catch the ball at the same time. I can't believe they dropped the ball so many times.

Oh, honey. I feel your pain. I've let shit come out of my mouth that never, ever should have left the depths of my pea-sized brain. I appreciate how you stand by your man and support him in his work. And quite frankly, you're right. One catch by Welker and we'd be looking at a very different blog post here.

But you should also know that wide receivers cannot f***ing commit intentional grounding while in the end zone, thereby costing their team two points on a safety. Wide receivers cannot f***ing throw a pass into coverage, ripe for the picking by Chase Blackburn.

Only quarterbacks can do that. Losing quarterbacks.

Not to mention that even if I weren't a Giants fan, I'd have a hard time feeling sorry for Tom Brady. I know, I know... athletes are competitive, they take losses personally, blah blah blah. But he led the Patriots to three Super Bowl victories in four years, and now he goes home every night to bang a supermodel. Feeling bad for him losing last night's game is like feeling bad for Warren Buffett if he lost money on an investment.

You'd figure that Giselle would have calibrated her mind-to-mouth filter when she called Tom's child by Bridget Moynahan her own child, or perhaps when she said that "There should be a worldwide law, in my opinion, that mothers should breastfeed their babies for six months."

But some of us have slower learning curves, I suppose. And curves are hard to navigate when you're driving the big bus you ran over your husband's teammates with.